Joy Luck Club Full Story Essay

Doconflictsjustdamagearelationship,ordotheyalsohelpyoubuildit?TheJoyLuckClubshowssomanydif ferentconflictsbetweenmothersanddaughtersthatwedidn'tevenknowtheywereproblems.Conflictsdon'toftenhelparelationship,buttheycanhelpyoubuildit.So,bylearningfromthemistakesyouhavemadeandsolvingthem,theywillnotoftenpresentthemselvesagain.Parentsalwaystrytounderstandtheirchildren,aswetrytounderstandthem.Inthestory ,weseeacoupleofmother -daughterduosthatshowperfectexamplesofthistypeofconflictiverelationshipthatmostofushave,likeLindoJongandW averlyJong.Theyhaveaverycomplicated,butaf fectionateduo.Althoughtheyareverydif ferentandthereisahugeculturalgapbetweenthem,theytrytounderstandoneanotherandmaketheirrelationshipstronger .Mothershaveacertainpurposeinourlives:toteach,help,andguideusthroughlife.Mostofthetime,ourmothersdowhattheythinkisbestforus,butintheend,itdoesnotmeanthatitisthebestforus.Therefore,thereareoftenar gumentsbetweenmothersandchildren.Peoplelearnfromtheirmistakes.Ifthesondoesnothavethisfreedomtobeabletoknowwhathewantsandfollowhisownpath,theconflictbetweenhimandhisparentswillbemuchworse.That'swhywealwayshavetotrytounderstandourparentsandmakethemlistentoustoo.Thereisnosuchthingasaperfectrelationship.LindoandW averlyareperfectexamples.Theypassthroughalotofproblems,liketheculturalgapofW averlybeingbornandraisedinAmericaandLindobeingmostlyfullChineseandbeingborninChina.Eventhoughtheyhavealotofdif ferences,themainconflictbetweenthemistheculturalgapandW averly swayofwantingtofindherownself.LindoissousedtobeingpartofthisChineseculturethatitisobviousthatshewantsherdaughtertogrowupwiththesametraditionsandbeatleastpartormostlyChinese.It'sjustashardforW averlyasitwouldbeforanyoneusedtolivinginandthecultureofoneplacecomparedtoatotallydif ferentone.ShetriestoadapttoherChineseculture,butitisnoteasy .Thiscreatesthebiggestconflictbetweenherandhermother ,whoisunabletocommunicatewitheachother .Italsocreatesamuchbiggergapbetweenthem.Also,LindowantstoincorporateW averlyasmuchasshecanintoChineseculture,butitjustcreatesmoreconflict.AsLindosays,"It smyfaultsheisthisway ."IwantedmychildrentohavethebestcombinationofAmericancircumstancesandChinesecharacter .HowcouldIknowthesetwothingsdonotmix?"(T an288).Themother spurposeinherdaughter'slifewastointroduceherandteachhermoreaboutherculture,theChineseculture.Shetriestomakeherselfpartofherrootsandtobeproudofwhosheis.Unfortunately ,W averlywantedtobeherownpersonanddowhatmadeherhappy .Sheisindependentbutyetstubborn.ShethinkssheisreallyAmericanandwantstobeAmerican.LindothinkstheoppositeofW averly;shethinkssheisthrowingherlifeawayandwastinghertruecultureandwhathasalreadybeengiventoher ,herblessingsandtraditions.Shewantedherdaughtertobeperfect.SheputintoherperfectexpectationsandwantedhertobeChineseinAmericancircumstancesforW averlytohavethebestlifeshecould.Relationshipsaredefinedbyhowmuchcommunicationandunderstandingthepersonshaveofoneanother .Inthiscase,thelackofcommunicationandthedif ficultyofunderstandingoneanotheriswhatseparatesLindoandW averly .Throughthestorytheytrytounderstandoneanotherbyrealizingthatalthoughtheyhavedif ferentmorals,andfollowdif ferentculturesontheoutsidetheyareboththesame,theylookphysicallythesame.Thisshowstheperfectexampleofwhatjoinsthemtogether ,therealizationofthembeingthesame.LindorealizesthatwhenshewaslittleshewasjustlikeW averly .Shewantedtobejustasindependentasherandalsohaveherownbeliefsandpersonality .Thisledtothemunderstandingeachothermore,tothetworealizingthattheyarenotsodif ferentafterall.AsLindosays,Ismile.IusemyAmericanface.That sthefaceAmericansthinkisChinese,theonetheycannotunderstand.ButinsideIambecomingashamed.Iamashamedsheisashamed.BecausesheismydaughterandIamproudofher ,andIamhermotherbutsheisnotproudofme.(T an290).LindothinksthatW averlydidn'twanttobepartofhisChineseculturebecausehewasashamedofit.ShethoughtthatW averlywantedtobemorepartoftheAmericanculturebecauseshewasnotonlyashamedofherChineselegacybutalsoofhermother .Thisseparatedthem,butalsounitedthembecauseeachonewasrealizingthatitwasnotso.LindorealizedthattherealreasonW averlypreferredtobeAmericanwasbecauseshewantedtoreachhergoalsandachieveherdreams,sheknewthatinChinashewouldn'tbeabletodoit.Thefactthatshedidn'twanttobefullChinesehadnothingtodowithherbeingashamedofhermother ,shelikedtolookphysicallylikehermother .Intheendsheunderstoodwhathermomwantedforherandthatsheonlywantedthebest,nottomakeherintosomeoneshewasn't.Thistypeofconflictcontributestothemeaningofthestory ,sinceitshowshowdespiteeverythingtheyalwaysreturntoeachother ,howtheymanagetounderstandeachotherandtrytocommunicateandliveinharmony ,aswellasformabetterstrongerrelationship.Attheend,wecouldseehowLindomanagedtoinfluenceW averlyforthebetterandachievewhathewanted.Afterall,howthetwomanagedtounderstandeachotherandcreateabetterrelationshipremainsamystery .Conflictsaren'tsomethingyoucansolveovernight;sometimesyoujusthavetogiveittimeandpatience.W elearnedfromLindoandW averly srelationshipthatmothers,nomatterwhat,willalwaysbetherefortheirchildrendespitealltheirproblemsandchoices,beingbadorgood.Itdoesn'tmatteryourcultureoryourbeliefs,familyalwayscomesfirst,andthereisalwaysawaytoahappyending.Thepointbeing,eventhoughtheydidn'thavetheperfectrelationship,itdidn'tstopthemfromlivingahappylifeandgettingwhattheywanted.Amotherwillneverbetotallysatisfiedwithherdaughter'slifechoices.Theywillalwayshavehighexpectations,butjustbecausetheywantthebestfortheirchildren.Theywillalwayspushusintherightdirection.